I refuse to be depressed

so today's blog is on a positive note. but it doesnt start off that way....

so im sick. i think i just have the common cold in all but nonetheless im sick. I think i know why im sick too, I made myself sick. Today is the day that I've actually eaten something. Yesterday and the day before for those full 48 hours I ate a small salad from Quizznos and some pops cereal. Both very small portions. I havent been taking care of my body and thats a shame b/c my body is a temple.

So today @ school i was n my first class and of course since its winding down to the last days we are only doing reviews. I dont care for reviews altho they do help. But anyway I was getting sadder and sadder by the second and i actually reached a point where i let a tear roll down my face. How embarassin, i mean im a jr in college crying in class. What kinda Daisha is that? Not a good one. So then im in my 2nd class out of 4 for the day and im just crying more and more. I stopped paying attention to what the woman was saying and this is when I made up my mind to go home once class is over. I got n my car, drove in the direction of the highway, then thought I was fine enough to come back and go to class. So i made a 180 and went back to school, found a parking spot and couldnt make myself get out of the car. I drove home taking the streets and crying all the way home. UGH i was such a mess. Throat feeling like crap and Im making it worse.

I got home and I told my mother how sad I was and she gave me tissue to wipe my eyes, she went downstairs made me some food and told me she didnt care if i wasnt hungry i was gona eat it lol. she then put on a dvd for me. It was the dvd from the church service @ the empowerment temple and it was about refusing to be depressed.

you know most of the time when a break up happens people say,

"oh you will find somebody else"
or
"oh maybe this was best"
or
"you will be ok"

and you dont want to believe any of this, but when you listen to a sermon on this topic WHEN it is currently happening in your life....woooo you know for a fact that God is talking to you and he wants you to understand that it is ok and this is for the best. He will never put you through more than you can handle. People just dont realize how gifted and blessed they are and they get caught up in drama that really has nothing to do with them. Some people are addicted to evil because they do not see the better person within themselves. They create stress, depression, anxiety, and any other negative emotion. But when you really sit down and put your arms around yourself and reassure that that is actually God giving you that hug, you know that everything you have been going through is released. Release all that negative energy, just separate yourself from it. Take it out of your hands and put it in God's hands. Pain does NOT last forever. So im done. Im done crying, im oot gonna give up, Im not going to lose sleep, im going to eat my meals and enjoy it. Because this problem is not bigger than me. I am a stronger woman than I was this morning. Im no longer waiting around for something that might not happen. I REFUSE TO BE DEPRESSED. Depression is the enemy and I will not give in.

Ever since I listened to that word I've been great. (Besides still being a little sick)

I wish i had the video to post on this blog to share with everyone.

Take care, I love you guys, and I do not want to see another sad face about a relationship that God took away from you because it was only to make you better.

:)